So, usually there is a blog at the end of each month but during the month of March I wasn’t really feeling any particular topic. I’ve been a little frustrated with all the violence and negativity going on at home; with my arrival back being April 8th(TOMORROW), I started to feel a little apprehensive about my arrival. Like, what if there is nothing I can contribute or if things are beyond my help?? It was becoming stressful and honestly making me sad.
I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends about my blog but I didn’t mention my thoughts about going home. I just told her, “I think I’m going to take a break this month” and she replied “As long as the break doesn’t become a habit!” My friends and family know how much creating this blog and the city means to me. They also know how laziness and doubt works, so they try to keep me motivated. I was like, well maybe I’ll force one, just to write something for March. As I started to think more, I came to the conclusion of addressing what I was feeling. At first, I thought I should talk to someone about feeling uneasy about my passion, maybe they could give me some advice. I then got a better idea, I should pray first.
I have so much love for Memphis; I mean I dedicated an entire blog to the city just to show the world it’s much more going on than negativity, violence, and poverty. So I prayed, I told God about how I was unsure/nervous about going back home. My prayers often turn into conversations (Lol) but I made God aware of all that was troubling me and why. After praying, I immediately fell asleep. Not staying up to think or anything....just sleep. I woke up the next day with a sense of relief. I felt like why couldn’t I be a contribution to the greatness in the city? My calmness was restored. I then got the idea to do a blog entry about what I was dealing with to replace the usual blog for the month.
As I have gotten older, I’ve realized the importance of people sharing life experiences. You never know how what you’re dealing with or have dealt with, can help someone else or how they can help you. I also felt I needed to show others how the devil works. Why else is it that I start feeling like I don’t want to go home when all I ever think about is home?? He clearly had been lingering around this worry wart (Me) and thought he had an opportunity to interfere with my passion. ACCESS DENIED!
Once I got the idea for my blog entry, I also started to see a couple of positive things happening in Memphis on Facebook. These things helped to confirm the results of my prayer. For example, the success of Memphis Black Restaurant Week and the gentleman who were lined up at KIPP Memphis Preparatory Middle School to be some love and encouragement to the students there. That little of light of positivity showed me that all it takes is faith, dedication, and passion.
Another thing I wanted to say is that there will always be doubts but you definitely can’t let fear control you. If you never try than how will you know? You only hinder your greatness when you second guess yourself. How great would the world be if there were no inventors, activist, performers, artist, historians, dreamers, or people who simply just tried? Life is all about taking risk, learning from it, and evolving. I know it’ll take a lot of hard work and effort to see change in the mentality of Memphis but I am definitely up for the challenge. I want to be the change I want to see in Memphis and I am dedicated to offering my time, services, and love to the Memphis community. I am also learning that I can’t let the opinions and thoughts of other people affect me on my journey to change things. All of this is a process for me but I’m gaining a wealth of knowledge from the experience.
And there you have it, my small little testimony and attest of faith. I’m not sure what everyone is dealing with but I hope my little story was of some help to you or maybe you have some encouragement/ advice for me. It all is truly appreciated!!
Before you all go, I do still have some things I think you all should check out! Search for the stories about the Soulsville redevelopment (South Memphis), The Musical based on Stax Records, The possible Malco Cinema for the downtown central station, Beale Street Fast Pass, a new annual music festival in Shelby farms, Levitt Shell free summer music series and so much more!
For information on what’s going in Memphis and events be sure to follow Choose901, IloveMemphis, and pick up the city’s newspaper, The Commercial Appeal!
Thank you so much for being a reader and I hope you come back next time for the next entry!!!
Much Love and Support,